The Dental Floss Opener
by derrick on Jul.01, 2011, under Good Pick Up Lines For Girls
If you’re like a lot of guys just starting out, your primary concern when thinking of approaching a woman is: “What the fuck do I say?” I’m going to give you a few ideas about how to get a conversation started with a girl in a way that will get her attention. Come with me as I explore the mysteries of… The Dental Floss Opener.
“Yo! Real quick! I was having an argument with my friend – do you think you should floss your teeth before or after you brush?”
Then, whatever she says, you can say “That’s exactly what I said!” and give her a high five. Be gentle. Or you say “But if you brush afterward, that means you’re going to push the gunk back between your teeth!”
Don’t talk about it for too long – change the conversation after a couple of minutes. Say “You guys seem cool. Are you tourists?” or “How do you guys know each other?” or start telling a story about your day.
There are a few key points here to make this work for you. Firstly, remember to smile. You’re a fun, happy guy and you’re having a good time. Secondly, speak loudly. It gets attention and shows you’re not afraid to stand out. Lastly, when you get further into the conversation, don’t feel like you have to say anything amazing to the girl. Don’t feel as if you have to try to impress her. She’s a person just a like you, and she’s a female so she probably likes to socialise even more than you do.
So why does this opener work to get a conversation started? Quite simply. You’re asking a question to get information, so it’s very unintrusive. You said it loudly, with enthusiasm, which got their attention. And you put them on the spot (just a little) by saying “Real quick!”
Now you have a few ideas on what to say to a girl. This is an icebreaker that has been proven many times by myself and others, so take these words and take action!
Giving People Your Full Attention And Offering Value
by derrick on Jun.22, 2011, under Self Improvement Tips
I have a simple rule. I will be fully wherever I am. That means focusing on the present moment, being aware of what’s around me, and giving my full attention to whomever I’m walking with. If I find I can’t do that, I will leave. Normally I find I can do it, however, it takes practice.
What are the benefits of this? For one, giving your full attention to a girl can make her feel as if she’s the only woman in the room. That flatters her more than any compliment
The thing about this, a lot of guys hear “Listen to the girl, just listen!” and they hang on her every word, but they are still emotionally affected by what she says. You are not listening intently because you think it is going to help you get laid, or get you a girlfriend. You are not doing it to manipulate anyone. You are doing it because you have (or are developing) a genuine interest in another human being. That is its own reward, but paradoxically that is what will make you more popular and successful.
The other pitfall is, just because you listen to a girl intently, doesn’t mean you should let her carry the conversation. Talk about yourself as well.
There is a story told by a famous audio engineer. He said it was always the session musicians who had the stereotypical “rock star” arrogant attitude. They would tell him to “watch where he was going” or order him to fix the mics on the drum kit. When he would work with Mick Jagger, Jagger would hold the door open for him and ask how his demo tape was shaping up. The reason I tell you this story is to demonstrate that giving people your full attention will result in popularity. Popularity and success with women are very closely related – in fact, they’re almost the same thing.
A great man once said, people who are truly great will make you feel that you can also be great. To encourage others around you, to proactively provide positive energy, to make others enjoy themselves – those things are cornerstones of a magnetic, charismatic and attractive personality. Those things will help you get laid or get a girlfriend.
To become that man, the first thing you need to do is just listen to people, and as Dale Carnegie said: never miss an opportunity to give someone a compliment. If people enjoy being around you, then obviously women will too.
Own Everything You Do
by derrick on Jun.14, 2011, under Being A Man
Own everything you do. Everything you do is an expression of who you are.
Picture this scene. A man has been reading some articles about success with women on the Internet, and wants to go try it out. He walks up to a girl in the club and says “You’re gorgeous. I had to come up and say hi,” but he’s not making eye-contact. He’s looking off in another direction. He definitely doesn’t look as enamoured as he claims. The woman says “Thanks…” She immediately realises there is something wrong, and she excuses herself to go to the bathroom.
What happened here? The man wasn’t congruent with what he was saying. He said the words, but he didn’t really believe them at the moment when it mattered.
When you’re talk with a woman, you want to communicate on a deeper level than mere words. Your words, your tone of voice and your body language must be aligned in order to send the intended message. The woman needs to not just hear your words, but feel them.
As another example, you’ve probably noticed a man speaking to his friends in a bar, and his voice is warm and friendly. He goes up to the bar and orders a drink and says “Can I please get…” and you hear the warmth removed from his voice. It comes through very thin, his voice is higher and less resonant. He is stifled.
Or if you’ve ever been to karaoke, you’ll notice that it’s common for the serious singers to get up and sing. They hit every note. Timing is perfect. But nobody applauds. Then a complete amateur gets up, probably drunk, and misses nearly every note, but sings with his whole heart. Everyone applauds.
The reason is this: People can feel when you’re being real. That congruence and authenticity shines out like a beacon, and it is very attractive to women because as soon as they meet you, they know who you are. That is true charisma.
So how can you get a healthy degree of congruence? Drinking alcohol can help you be authentic, but if you rely on alcohol for confidence you’re going to have some obvious problems.
What I recommend is this: speak with everyone as if they are your friend. Practise being authentic with people. Try making conversation with the check-out girl, ask how her day has been or give her a compliment. Develop your own warmth and authenticity. If you find your voice getting locked into that stifled, thin mode, try singing to unlock it – the louder the better.
Go out and have fun guys, and I’ll talk to you soon.
Looks Don’t Matter To A Woman
by derrick on Jun.06, 2011, under Being A Man
You’ve seen them. Tall, handsome guys with tall, beautiful girlfriends. Perfect white smile, blue eyes and blonde hair. You think to yourself “Goddamnit – if I were blessed with good genetics I could be banging hotties too.” Except you’re not, so you wallow in your self-pity and go home to masturbate with your tears.
Sounds familiar? Let me bring you back to reality.
I remember once, I was in Las Vegas at Spearmint Rhino and saw my wingman, a 40 year old 4’10″ below average looking dude make out with one of the hottest strippers in the club. That’s one example. Look around a little more closely and you’ll notice it’s pretty common for beautiful women to be with ugly or regular looking dudes.
The truth is, some girls care about looks, but most care more about what kind of man you are. Are you a leader? Are you unflappable? Determined? Are you the effect in your world, are are you the cause?
It’s easy for a man to hide and play the victim. Blame your looks, your height, your parents, your bank account. It’s not so easy to look yourself in the mirror and say “This is the man responsible for his success with women.” But once you say that, you’ve just moved a little closer to taking that responsibility – and your world will start to change.
So ask yourself – am I prepared to surrender the possibility of success just because of an old belief or a victim mentality? Or am I going to step up and be a man?
There are women out there waiting for a man – not a good-looking prettyboy, but a man. And those women are desperate. They don’t want some pussy or a child to coddle, but a man who knows who he is and moves with purpose. Can you give that woman what she wants?
